The Engine That Drives Me

By Yuli, Cohort 13

I grew up in a humble family with good values and principles. My childhood was full of joy and lots of fun, where I thought that in this life all things were going to be as we say “rosy”. 

At the end of the year 2019, I was very excited for the year 2020 to arrive because in that year I would be graduating from high school and I dreamed a lot about having a nice graduation because I would be accompanied by the most important people in my life. I dreamed so much of entering the school hall and holding hands with my parents, but in 2020, the dream that I wanted so much to have a nice graduation surrounded by my parents fell apart. Do you know why? In that same year, a terrible disease, ” COVID-19″, entered the country prohibiting all kinds of public and private events. But, that was not the worst thing that happened to me during that year.

Sadly, that same year my mother, who suffered from diabetes, had complications and we had to take her to the clinic, where she stayed for a few weeks. The doctors put her on medications that only controlled her symptoms for a while. While she was in the clinic, unfortunately on July 30, 2020, my mother suffered a cardiac arrest which caused her death. 

At that moment my world came down on me. The only thing I wanted was to leave with her. I did not want to do anything. I even wanted to stop my studies because I thought that my life without my mother would be meaningless. Every night that I went to sleep I dreamed about my mother, even some nights I could not sleep because I could not contain my tears. 

Every night I went to sleep and every morning I got up I prayed to God to give me the strength I needed at all times. One day in the morning I got up, went outside my house, looked at the sky, and promised my mother that I would always persevere for my dreams, just as she always told me that no matter what problems or difficult moments I would go through in this life that I should not give up and that I should always face any situation positively and always focus on my goals. And so it was, since I promised that to my mother, I have struggled a lot to move forward, to pursue my dreams. Although it has been almost 4 years, her death still hurts. 

But now I am here and soon I will achieve one of my goals and I look forward to graduation which is dedicated to my mother. Although she is not in this world, I know she is proud of me and everything I’m achieving. She is my engine which drives me to always continue forward no matter what barriers I face because she is here in my mind and my heart.